May 30th will be my 3 year anniversary on Twitter. Three years ago I was listening to Don Lemon on CNN covering the Iran Revolution, where Twitter was the ONLY way of getting information, pictures & video OUT of Iran. It intrigued and fascinated me; I opened an account and about 30 minutes later this “LIGHT” went on above my head. “This is fantastic!”
Fast
forward to NOW and here's what I believe Twitter has become. Not
“evolved,” as there really hasn't been any evolution at all.
“Become” is a sadder, better description. My breakdown of the
whole pie is as follows:
40%
BOTS. These can be fake accounts, auto-tweet “blast”
accounts, robotic RT accounts or that dreadful “Team Follow”
crap. I get 20-30 of them a day, and I block and report them. I don't
WANT them as a “follower” to pad my numbers. If you think simply
“not following back” solves your eventual PROBLEM, you're wrong.
If you allow one, you'll get 50 more for each one. Worse, once you
follow they usually unfollow; the “follower churners” as I call
them. Churning, or following to get a follow and then unfollowing, is
supposed to be against Twitter rules, but these churners never seem
to be terminated. I'd rather be “static” and have only real
people. If I DID allow them to follow, my calculations are I'd be
well over 70,000 now vs 36,000 followers. But 70,000 WHAT? Followers?
Nope. Get off the pipe. They're not REAL. Speaking of “real,”
20%
Gurus. These gladhanding “Mwah” idiots tell you how to be
better on Twitter while only talking to cliques and AUTO tweeting
“Keep It Personal” mantras. Expect lots of “I love you more,”
the always nipple-hardening “Together Everyone
Achieves More,”
regurgitated (and often stolen) quotes, and links to blogs of ideas
stolen from other people as if their own thoughts. I consider these
to be WORSE than the bots. They are second-grade window monitors who
were never assigned that in school and by GOD they'll assert it
“here” on Twitter.
20%
Corporate Blasters. These are simply companies who think
Twitter is a billboard because you (yes you) can't survive another
day without knowing about their other coupon or the fact you can
friend them on FaceBook.
15%
Celebrity Blasters. These folks have the LEAST knowledge of
Twitter and figure they “owe” it to you to have 10 million
followers, follow 50, talk to that 50 as if they're friends and alert
you to the earth shattering fact they'll be on Leno tomorrow and have
a new film, and/or occasionally give a political opinion.
5%
Other.
Yay!
It's the “5% other” that are the reason we all get on. 95%,
therefore, isn't. These 5% are people you “sort of know,” or
might have met in real life, or would like to, or have a common
interest, or a connection, or damn it, are just plain friendly and
kind. Alert the media! They'll tweet you a joke, ask how you are and
actually wait for the answer, email you some personal advice, or
touch your heart. You might fall in love with one of them. I did.
They just MATTER. They're kind, considerate, courteous, responsive to
courtesy, and despite THEIR life problems actually help you feel
better about YOURS. It is then your inclination (or it should be) to
console or counsel THEM … and long-lasting, trusting friendships
are born. WELL! That sounds positive. Too bad they're the 5%
shining pearls in a sea of shit.
Twitter
was wayyyy different when I signed up. There was a really fun bunch
of interacting, pleasant, somewhat “wild” people … an evening
“adult” chat that was hilarious and inspired friendship .. GREAT
respons(es) to technical questions, more manners, more engagement,
just plain MORE FUN. I first noticed the drop-off a year ago, and a
substantial & rapid decline 4 months ago. If there are 400
million “users,” my 5% rule says that means 20 million real
people worth knowing. Uh-oh … my math must be wrong. It's less than
5% ~ significantly less. WORSE: I believe actual Twitter readership
is down 80%. That's right, 80%. Your tweets aren't really being
“read” any more. They're being absorbed in “finger down the
middle of the page, see the words but don't verbally pronounce them”
speed reading fashion. I don't care how you're listed, and what lists
people are “reading” to see you if you're lucky enough to be on
that list …
- You're possibly being seen,
- You're NOT really being "recognized,"
- You're probably not being noticed, and
- Most likely almost NEVER “heard.”
It's a
50mph wordmill where the only thing that might help you is a catchy
avatar. Even then, you're possibly seen but not really recognized,
and certainly not with the desired attention to be heard.
Even
if you're heard, will you be retweeted? In my opinion fully HALF of
all tweets “RT'd” happen because of EXPECTANCE. The RT-er wants
something, which might be merely “recognition from a honcho.” The
“honcho,” much like a huge fat fish that allows “feeder fish”
and doesn't eat them because they clean it's asshole … is more than
happy to take them ~ hell, they EXPECT them. That's your JOB, for
Chrissake. Lately, you're not retweeted (and I mean all of you as a
group, not “ME” being RT'd – I get plenty) unless you've RT'd
“them” earlier today or yesterday.
I
tried a little experiment. I created a list called “RT
Bang For Buck” and kept it hidden. I would randomly RT people on
that list even if it was a coupon for grapefruits. Sure enough, I'd
get a “return RT.” Then I'd leave off for a couple of days …
crickets. RT them again Thursday … lo and behold an RT. I see. So
it's kinda like homework. I won't waste time discussing people YOU
are retweeting without any reciprocation or thanks … I don't even
FOLLOW those self-glorified, cocky asswipes. Wake up and realize you
don't WORK for these people. Stop being a drone. That's just your OWN
fault for feeling a “need of belonging,” and that you're enslaved
to them because they have 80K followers. Hell, they must me
important, right? Actually no, they're just using you. That's how
they have the 80K. It's kind of like that fellow sent to PRISON
in California for running a newspaper ad “Send me $10 and I'll show
you how to get rich.” Guess what people got for their $10 … a
piece of paper saying “Haven't you guessed?” Aww. Never mind.
Welcome to Twitter, where a similar newspaper ad is digitized. But
the revolution won't be televised. Nor (probably) retweeted.
Well
Don't Just be Negative, Paul ~ What Would You Propose?
First
of all, I'm not being negative. I'm being truthful. The gurus are
either too stupid to KNOW what I've just stated and many of us have felt for a while, or they DO know but
figure they'll keep the idiots and attract new ones, and SOME “fresh
horses” might actually pay them for their “social marketing”
skills. After all, they've spent a fortune attending the latest
“SocMed Convention” (actually there's one today, and combined
with Follow Friday I can't wait to see the unbridled hashtagged “crap
traffic” on the grid TODAY).
I
don't blame Twitter for ALL of this mess; after all they provided an
innovative, bright, shining new platform for social interaction that
FAR exceeds FaceBook, and it took off because of it's simple
brilliance, simplicity of use, worldwide importance as a news outlet
and a fun forum of communication. I DO hold them responsible for “not
taking it to the next level,” fixing once and for all the spamming
problems and phishing links, and seemingly not enforcing the rules we
all read when we signed up. I would propose the following; pay
attention particularly to the last item:
1.
When someone signs up, there are THREE (3) character recognition
screens and THREE (3) confirming emails after that Captcha screen is
completed. It's harder to fake 3 than one to see if you're real.
2.
NEW Twitter “members” are allowed to follow FIFTY (50) people on
their first day, 100 on their second day through 7th day, and THEN up
to 2,000. 90% of the “bot” accounts wouldn't have the patience to
wait a week of incremented following to start “mass following” up
to the 2000 cap.
3.
You should have to fill in a Captcha screen to SEND a DM. For each
and EVERY DM. Every time. If a DM is that important, type the
characters. This would END the phishing Dms, auto-DMs, and “Hey,
tweet my blog” crap. A DM should be a personal message to ONE
recipient, not a mass message. You HAVE mass messages … they're
called “Tweets.”
4.
Anyone following 300 people and unfollowing more than 200 the next
day, or unfollowing as soon as “followed back” should be
suspended. Period. I'd say taken out and shot, but there's probably
laws against that. Take the math out of the spamming, and they'll go
back to leaflets on windshields.
5.
Most importantly: YOU should use YOUR own common sense to run YOUR
Twitter. Have a good strong cup of coffee, switch on your “BS-Meter,”
and take a hard look at who is REAL on there. Unfollow the people who
want you in a “club.” Unfollow people who don't thank people
(common courtesy) for ReTweets or engage in conversation or ONLY
auto-tweet. Unfollow the people who ONLY talk to the same 6 people
every morning or who tweet the 5-10 “biggest people” on Twitter
hoping for a shoutout while droning on about “only wanting real
followers.” Unfollow anyone who systematically (defined as weekly
or more often) DM's you for favors. A little more vigilance from all
of us sure would make Twitter's job of policing easier, especially
since they're not doing much of it.
So …
in conclusion … I'm not sure what I'm doing June 1st. Are you? And
don't worry if your friends “missed” this blog; I'm sure it will
be “re-blogged without permission” by some “callous
opportunist.” I'm off to make some coffee, give it 3 hours, and
then see how many guru blogs practically copy & paste this as
their own idea. That happens to me a lot :-) Wait. Where'd my $10 go?
Doh!
Be
safe, all xo
