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Friday, September 2, 2011

Fragility of Life & Importance of TRUE FRIENDS

The lessons from the words below are "obvious," and yet can't be stressed enough. Too often our days are full of "have to;" as Steve Martin said in "Parenthood," ~ "My whole life is have to." It is important to remember that EACH oif us has trials, perhaps hidden in our daily "friendly banter" on Twitter/FB/G+ and a myriad of other "social media" platforms but are social but veiled in terms of what's REALLY going on in our lives. THINK about each of these situations, as well as those applying to YOU ... and you realize as I have for a long time that REAL matters. I'm constantly going on about it on Twitter ... this is what I mean by "REAL" and "being real," and setting true concern for others above cutesy clique hashtags and "mwahs." Platitudes are great for the non-feeling. REAL people need more. They need love. Show some.

  1. Two years ago I was followed by and followed back a girl whose Twitter name has been re-released, so I won't disclose it here. It contained the word "pixel." I follow VERY few photographers back, but she seemed fun. Her last tweet was the day I followed her back, saying "off to work." That day ... at 25 years old ... she was killed in a car accident. I hadn't been on Twitter that long, and it devastated me. I never knew her in a real sense, a site to light a candle for her memory was set up, but I think about her often although we never tweeted. Sentimental I guess. 2 years later I grieve for the loss of someone I never knew ... who was full of life and taken way too early. Life is fragile like that. I'm actually a tad upset NOW writing this. God Bless her.
  2. A week ago, my friend @RennaParisyan was at a funeral. She was burying her EIGHTEEN year old cousin. Last night, Renna herself was in a horrific car accident, hit by a drunk. She is "alright," was kept overnight for observation and released this morning. She now has no car and will struggle (I imagine) over the next weeks resolving all that mess. She's lucky to be ALIVE. Renna is also 18.
  3. Amy and I hadn't heard from our friend @TheRedHeadRiter in 4 days ... so we both texted "Red" last night, and she was fine. But power and internet had been knocked out by Hurricane Irene and she had "all of those dreadful issues" to contend with. Fortunately she is also safe and will be back on Twitter (hopefully) this weekend.
  4. My friend David Hallman, @AuthorDHallman on twitter, wrote a book called "August Farewell" about the passing of his partner ~ lost to cancer too young. That 2nd anniversary, just passed, saw David alone at home, reflecting. The book was therapy to cope with the loss and many on Twitter have sent him support & blessings. Those messages MATTER. And David is grateful. I am indeed grateful to know him as a friend.
  5. My Mom had spinal surgery 3 times in 2 years, one operation involving putting in an electronic "pain reducer" box. It was put in the WRONG place. It has shifted, causing even more pain, and she will be in hospital AGAIN for surgery to remove it. I'm not sure of that surgery "date." Likewise, Amy's Dad will be in hospital next week for surgery.

How many of the people you "talk to" in Social Media are having these troubles? I would suspect ALL or certainly most. Life is difficult and especially "nowadays;" kids grow up fast, the economy is in the dumper (albeit better than "coming off the rails" as it was 3 years ago) ... love, life, sickness, job loss, "life mission" questions, unsurety ... are felt by all of us. So TAKE AN INTEREST, without being nosy, in personal problems people might be having, reach out to them as PEOPLE ... we only have each other ... and pay LESS attention to hollow, generic, self-promoting types. If you have 40 followers and follow someone with 25, not only help them get more and MAKE friends ... BE one to them. YOU might be the difference in their feeling better about something that is NOT "aired on Twitter," but plagues them daily. That might be the whole reason they're ON there. You just don't know. And ... they might be there for YOU when you need someone.

Let's forget about kitten hugs and bunny rainbows and feel-good nonsense ... let's be real for each other and realize the Fragility of Life & Importance of TRUE FRIENDS. OXO


  1. Omg, I needed to read this. Thank you for breaking it down and putting things into perspective. I'm a fan now. Looking forward to more post!


  2. Very touching post Paul..puts a lot of things in perspective.My Mom has also had back surgery and is in pain again so know how that situation can be.Hope your Mom and Amy's Dad have uneventful surgeries and quick recoveries.Have a great weekend!

  3. saw this link RTed on my twitter feed and i'm glad i paused to read it. your examples could be happening to any of us. well done!

  4. Had to read this again. Thanks for reminding us of important things.

  5. Thank you for posting this. So often we lose sight of the things and people really important in our rush to either 'make a name for ourselves' or gain the most 'friends and followers'.

    There are times when I wonder what became of one person or another. Someone I met only briefly, or read something from. I used to read a lot of Fan Fiction, and on more than one occasion wondered what happened to the writers when the stories were left unfinished.

    This is a harsh world, and times aren't easy for anyone. You're right that we need to open ourselves up for friendships--and those friendships might just be the thing someone needed.

    Thank you again for taking the time to share this with us, and I hope the next surgery--whenever it is-- goes smoothly and she's no longer in pain.


  6. Great post, Paul. It definitely puts things into perspective. I just rtnd from doing volunteer work in a country full of poverty & orphans & one realizes the importance of what really matters. People all around us (in our real lives &/or social media lives) can always use our help, whether it be assistance or just lending an ear. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Namaste.

  7. "have to" is often followed by the fulfilling feeling of getting it done along with the accomplishment of doing something positive & worthwhile, making the initial afterthought. ;o) do it anyway.


  8. Paul, Touching words that hit home so much today. I remember Meg very well. Though I never met her in person, I talked with her via skype and via emails and blog postings. She touched my life an when I found out she was gone, I was crushed. How can someone you have never met, make such a lasting impression? I have no clue how the hell it happened, but it did and her passing cut deep. Friendships IRL and online do go deep. Its stunning what social media has done for relationships. THANK YOU for sharing!

  9. Beautiful Post and Reminder - to embrace every moment, every relationship. It's all fleeting anyway and will be gone - all too soon. Thank You Paul.

  10. Aw, this is just what I needed to read today too. Glad Diana included a link to it on her post yesterday. Paul, I'm really glad we are friends. Remember how some time back I tweeted you out of the blue? I remember you telling me how great it was to unexpectedly hear from me since you had some unpleasant interactions with another Twitter friend.

    As for your list above - I also still remember #1. My thoughts are with you and Amy's families.

    And as for that @TommyTRC guy --- he was the best-est to me yesterday. Tommy, if you happen to see this...thank you!!!


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